Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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