i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize