OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
