so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
