you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize