i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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