Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
