So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
