I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize