Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
