We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize