i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
