Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
