Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
