Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
