Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she told me i tasted like america
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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