What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
