taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
