Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
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I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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