I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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