soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
