He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
