My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
