those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Randomize
