What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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