He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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