She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
