called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
