dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
