I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
