we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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