hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
