dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
