Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
