You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
