Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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