Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize