dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
