IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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