You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
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Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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