the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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