I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
