I'm gonna have a badass scar
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize