Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
