I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize