I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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