then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize