did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
