her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
