so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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