its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
