New invention idea: vibrating tampons
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
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I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.