My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
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that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
