you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
