i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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