Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
