It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
