the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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