she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
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fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
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I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
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