hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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