i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
