Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
