Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
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She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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